The BIG Secret

So this is the ep about ‘Brooke’s secret’…it better be good Channel 10. It better be good.

Anyway Oshie is back in the building team. The mean girls have gone so Oshie is back with his blow wave and his big heart. We’ve missed you bro.

Single date time…. we usually don’t spend this much time on the reveal so gotta be some epic scandal – aka Cass doesn’t get a date. And… it is Brittney… SHOCK HORROR. Some girls haven’t even had single date. This is crazy shit man. The house is rocked.

They do some Australiana themed date. Because she is Australian? Nick – did you mean this date for the Russian??? I am v confused. Feed some crocs, hold a snake and now onto the sex couch. There is a kiss, seems legit. Nick is very into her. Def a contender – watch your back Brooke.

Group date time…

For some reason there is a lie detector dude who is going to interview them. Unclear why this is a thing… HANG ON I GET IT. The mean girls are gone so the producers gotta create the drah-ma. Clever Channel 10. Clever.

Let’s see if this guy is good. He thinks…. Brooke is hiding something – whatevs I feel this ‘secret’ will disappoint me. Cass is infatuated with Nick – no shit Sherlock. WOW dude you are good.

Then the girls get their results with Nick because, ya know, its a test.

All v awkward. Clearly some winners and losers – Sophie – winner. Deanna – loser. Brooke gets piano music backing – what a winner. Cass gets the semi clown music… not a good sign. Nick looks semi freaked out while she confesses her love for him in front of a complete stranger. She has verbal diarrhoea. Its VERY awkward. Someone stop her.

All v dramatic. Then we rehash feedback with the professional. Jesus they are short on content tonight. Tenille does badly. Brooke gets the good music again. Nick makes the great comment that he never has to question where he stands with Cass – that is because she is standing directly behind you breathing heavily All. The. Time.

Cocktail Party time bitches.

Lots of chat – zero happens, Cass has a sneaky chat. Lots of weird hugging – Nick still looks semi scared of her. Brooke decides to tell the big SECRET. I am expecting big things… and massive anti climax Brooke has previously had a relationship with a woman. Boo. This isn’t a thing. Pretty sure the dramatic negative build up is pretty rough… this is the 21st century dudes. What a cop out.

Nick asks if she knows what she wants… and everyone it is ok. She still wants a man. Relief. Phew. Thank god. God forbid this be in any way not stock standard.

Some random goes home. Shannon is still here apparently! No air time and Nicko called her Shazza- friend-zoned. Till tomorrow bitches….