Somehow there is a date with Rhiannon – Osh where are you. We miss you. I also don’t know who Rhiannon is?
Bachie claims that it is easy to organise a date – which it is. If you have producers and dude called Osher on hand. Oh and a budget. So yeah dude it is easy to plan a date – with your staff King Honey Badger.
They go on a hot air balloon – which looks pretty but lets be real balloons are quite boring. Great pics, great insta life, pretty boring and slow in reality.
Then we get to the awkward outback themed sex couch. And some weird game – i.e. the producers did not want to risk another Vanessa Sunshine couch of silence so now there is a game to ensure that TV worthy chats are had. Honey Badger asks what loves means – she can’t answer. Which is weird as you had to fill out a survey to come on this shitshow which specifically asks that question…hmmmm confusing.
Then there is literally the most awkward couch interaction ever. They discuss how Nick doesn’t want to kiss her. She tries to kiss him. They weirdly hug instead. She actually turns to the camera and says ‘are we done now’. WOW just WOW.
The level of cringe is very high. So high that the producers have to take Rhiannon off the ledge afterwards. She gets a rose – dead rose walking.
Then camping group date – they don’t know its a fight to the death. Cheeky Bachie. I like that you didn’t tell them. It is basically a long montage of Vanessa Sunshine vs Romy. Apparently much comment is made of how ‘awkward’ Vanessa Sunshine is in the country. Which is fine but they are all pretty city slicker. Except Brooke and Brittany #thecontenders.
Romy pulls Bach aside for a chat and literally chucks VS under the bus. Then VS throws Romy under the bus. VS calls Bachie a hillbilly but apparently he has nice teeth. WTF dude. But apparently she is here for the right reasons – she is – as long as it is to increase your IG following #endorsementlife.
Its nighttime at the campfire. Everyone is in their swag. Now SCANDAL Romy has jumped into Nick’s swag. Poor Cass is the narrator for this section which ain’t v helpful for the public image.
Now Cass gets some alone time. She seems way less cray when by herself – does need to stop touching her hair… but hold up… then she asked about Romy. DUDE don’t ask stupid questions. The whole interaction is awkward BUT it is less awkward than in a group.
Remember how we hugged for a while at the cocktail party. Bachie likes to be silent with Cass. Hmm I see much silence in their future.
Time for mini rose ceremony. PRAISE GOD – Osh is alive. I’m actually so relieved. Please stay Osh – it isn’t the same without you. The producers are lost without your direction.
Clearly it has to be Alisha – aka mean girl 3. She commentates and lot but ain’t had any time or apparent interest in Bachie. SURELY IT IS HER. It isn’t her.
DAMMIT IT IS VS. The teeth comment sank her. And the fact she clearly has no interest in the Badge.
Next week shit goes down. Crazy. Can’t wait. Don’t fail me now Channel 10.
Till next week bitches.