Bachelor In Paradise Ep2 – The Bro Code

Flo got snatched up by Jake, right in front of Davey. This is not going to end well. Isn’t this against the bro code, bros before hoes right? Or are they just being dogs to each other. Either way, we know that Davey is not a happy Chappy.

They’ve got alot to talk about on this date, Flo and Jake, but where to begin? Do they start somewhere new or talk about the past, the meaning of reputation and suss him out. 

Don’t go chasing waterfalls… And gosh help us if Flo starts chasing Jake. It is no doubt a romantic date location. 

Shock there’s actually more happening apart from Flo’s drama, people are coupling up and finding love, being all smitten and cuddly. I completely forgot half of these people were on the show, I hadn’t seen them in a while, but I am happy that they are finding happiness on the show. 

Welcome long haired uncle Sam. He loves a cuddle. Sam and Blake had a dirty dancing moment, where you run up to each other as if that is all that matters in life and embrace like two become one, that’s one way to make an entrance into paradise. So much bromance happening, bros need to calm down. 

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Dreads = dregs. Keira needs to get out there and brush up on her lingo. If post production need to subtitle and fix your English, then you have a problem. If you don’t know if you are using the right word use a different sentence or just stop talking. 

Paradise have figured out that there is going to be a ceremony soon and the boys are stressing, big time! It’s worse than running for the last chair in musical chairs, pure stress. It looks like Davey’s got a chance of getting a rose, get in there son! The spark in his eyes when Flo comes back talking rubbish about her date with Jake, he has got a second win. 

Gossip and more gossip. Everyone is sussing each other out, it is so early in the show it is hard to commit this early without coming off stalkerish. 

Tara, no one cares about Brett. I’m sorry babe but move on. If you don’t want to choose him then let him get voted out. From our point of view he hasn’t done much in the show so far anyways, he’s just adding a little drama with his whole relationship status. What I love is Michael gossiping with the other girls, catching the inside scoop from the ladies and their choices. Is he a taking back his knowledge to the boys or is he just curious on their points of view. 

Hey it’s the dirty street pie girl. Haven’t seen much of her in a while. 
This list of characteristics she wants in a partner is a joke right? Does someone like that really exist or is that why she’s still single with too high of hopes. She’s so spiritual and in tune with herself, that might be part of the issue? 

Target acquired and go. Blake was on to it. She likes initiative and he’s scored himself a date with the new cutie. At least this date is actually interesting, and not just sitting and talking. It’s a bit sexual, and very dirty, who knew mud could be so sexy. Blake is almost head over heels and she is like meh. Are these boys actually falling or just keen to get a rose?

Someone get Sam a hairbrush and a mirror. Can we arrange this with set crew. Most of the viewership would really appreciate it. 

Back at paradise and Tara is having a full blown meltdown, chucking a tantrum. It’s a real sob. She is just looking out for her friend but sadly this happens all too well, the indistinguishable line of seeing vs in a relationship. Seems great when it’s your relationship but shitty if you’re the friend just looking out for the girl falling for the uncommitted douche. Get rid of Brett, his time is up. 

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And all of a sudden it’s happy music. 

Everyone is back and Blake has turned into the Cheshire cat, grinning from ear to ear. Guessing the date went well then?

Ladies, let’s huddle. Plenty of discussion as to which men are going to receive a rose, and as expected Flo cannot make up her mind and is probably going to use the trusty Eenie meenie minee mo. 

Davey and Jake aren’t bros anymore, and in a chance to get Flo’s rose, Davey pulls out the classic spiel about how much her cares and blah blah blah. How many times have we heard these over the various Bachie seasons.

Our first rose ceremony in paradise. It is what I have been waiting for. 

Of course they leave the suspenseful choices last and we have to sit there watching all the couples pick each other as expected. Damn Leah looks tinny in that dress, excuse me while I throw away my not so light snacks. 

Davey is shitting himself. His choices are flashing before him, regret staring at him right in the face. The suspense is killing me, not going to lie, my housemate and I are both face in hands at the tv yelling. How could Flo choose Jake? The only good thing is now Brett is gone, woo hoo. 

Aww Davey. We actually thought you would stay. Heartbroken. 

Until next time.

The Volte Squad x

 

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