If Sophie’s bachelors were 90s heart-throbs

Apollo is giving Sophie some kind of sign girl. Ooh my baby. Show me that your… gotcha – try stop singing that song.

Sam is bringing Backstreet Back (alright) (not intentionally rude #cans)

the-surprising-oral-history-of-mmmbop-1464021320

Harry, James and ‘Unclear who that is’ are mmmbopping (#stretch) and…wait what were the other songs…

Jarrod is Leo in Romeo + Juliet. For the record – Romeo broke up with his girlfriend, cried, gatecrashed a party with his mates and then after meeting a girl in the loo, stalked her, married her etc…that’s right – a girl he saw in a dirty toilet fish tank in a “fully sick” party (BOOM – teenage romantic dream shattered).

Blake just needs the “oh so cool” eye brow ring and he could be our favourite Aussie bad boy Drazic. Note to self – you do not want your daughters dating Drazic. That guy was bad news. Further note to self – you do not want your daughters dating a non-descript investor/entrepreneur. This is code for he is an unemployed gambler.

No description needed: Hayden is Ali G.

Sorry Mack-who? I know not of Mack.

I feel this comparison is unfair on Dylan. Dylan was deep. Dylan was complicated. Ryan needs to see an anger management consultant. Did you see that Ikea episode? WTF?

Luke has that “je ne sais pas” that we all loved about Pacey. A clear front runner with a better haircut than Joshua Jackson. #teamluke

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